Alright, who the hell spraypainted DICKS in huge letters across Warriors II? Don't think I won't find you, you little shit.

Ohhhh Jesus... my head hurts. Oh god, why is there a pile of deer poop next to my face? And why do I smell so bad? Am I on the floor?

[Guy pounds on the journal, which is taped to his chest for some reason, to match his headache]

Uh fffuuuuu... FFFUUUUUUUU!

[And promptly crawls outside a broom closet where's he's been out of commission for ( Read more... )

Fuck this, Warriors needs to be here. There's no room in this damn castle for the greatest bar in the universe! I'm not feeling the hip vibe here though. I know the Gee-Ell isn't a big thing here, which is a crying shame lemme tell you, and I'm feeling tropical. The Warrior Shack, coming soon to a side of the duck pond near you ( Read more... )

[Post is filtered for the Lux]

[Kara's pretty much ready for the casual superhero meeting to begin. The ghosts delivered invitations. She finished cleaning up the Lux hours ago and managed to put out a decent selection of food and sodas. She's also set up a large dry erase board and markers near the piano for jotting down plans and strategies. ( Read more... )

Dear Travis Douchedown ( Read more... )

[Guy is outside, lounging in a floating green lawn chair with a massive umbrella hovering over his head. As usual, he has a giant cooler of Bloody Marys just sitting around being delicious]

Raaaaain, raaaaain, you dirty son of a bitch. I'm enjoying this day whether you like it or not.

Anyone feel like building a clubhouse in the sky? [Munching ( Read more... )

Being a Green Lantern would have been way cooler when I was a kid. Damn, I haven't felt that fit in ages. I played football, and I didn't blow chunks. I made a giant robot dinosaur battle with the evil forces of Mace Destructo ( Read more... )

I just took a giant dump in a toilet that doesn't belong to me, and it floated right up to the ceiling. I am so sorry.

But not sorry enough to do anything about it, haha. Who lives next door to me again? Your door was open. Maybe next time you'll remember to close it, and leave your toilet seat down.

[This will not end well]

Pfft, all this green makes a normal day for me. Kinda missed it, to be honest.

Anyway, who wants to get stinkin drunk and kill Michael Flatly? Maybe the castle can make us a piñata.

Hey. Whazzis?

[Sounded out very slowly, like a retarded kid trying to read upside down]

Shiiit... ass... sp... spank. Shit ass spank... wime? W-wime. Whimsy... chu. chu. co-- HEY. I AM NOT A SHIT ASS SPANK WHIMSY COCK HUMPER. YOU FUCKING CASTLE, YOU TAKE THAT BACK.